Given the absolute joy I’ve derived from watching My Super Sweet 16 and Engaged and Underage in the past, MTV’s newest show about stupid kids, 16 and Pregnant, was destined to be a slam-dunk (at least for me).
But, as we all know, even Michael Jordan missed a slam-dunk or two in his day.
Here’s the biggest problem with 16 and Pregnant: unlike Sweet 16, which merely exposes a few brats for being spoiled little monsters, or Engaged, which can only ruin a maximum of two lives, 16 and Pregnant brings near-certain doom to an innocent little baby.
And that’s pretty depressing.
Of course, I’m not saying that every set of underage parents is destined to screw up their kid beyond recognition. There have been - and will be - instances in which young parents turn out to be great parents. But that just isn’t the case on 16 and Pregnant.
Like the stars of Super Sweet 16 and Engaged and Underage, these young parents-to-be are (generally) fucking retarded. They are the stupidest of America’s stupid, thrilled to have their fat faces on television for the sheer joy of looking idiotic on MTV.
For that reason alone, I probably won’t watch 16 and Pregnant ever again. Humiliating teenagers who can’t figure out how to use a condom is a worthwhile endeavor, but there’s no fun in watching them they bring a child into the world that has virtually no chance of leading a good life.
18 years from now, McDonald’s staffs across America will be populated by the offspring of 16 and Pregnant parents. And so will the prisons. And the crack houses.
I’d rather watch the fucking Hills.
